Tips for Choosing Patrol Boats for Commercial Jobs

fluidboats

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Jan 7, 2026
RO Number
37950
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1
Hey Everyone,
So I’ve been running patrol boats for a few years now, mostly for commercial stuff like checking harbors, moving small loads, and a bit of water monitoring. Honestly, picking the right boat isn’t as simple as just looking at horsepower or shiny gadgets. You really notice the differences when you’re out there in rough water or trying to dock after a long day.
Some things I personally look at:
  • How easy it is to handle – trust me, a boat that’s hard to steer will wear you out fast.
  • Stability – if the water’s choppy, you want a boat that won’t feel like it’s tipping over every wave.
  • Durability – commercial work isn’t gentle. Hulls, tubes, fittings – they all get used hard.
  • Practical layout – where you store gear, where the crew stands, how easy it is to get in and out.
Really, it comes down to experience. Specs are nice, but nothing beats getting on the water and seeing how it feels.
If anyone has stories about patrol boats they’ve used for work, I’d love to hear them – the good, the bad, everything.
 
During my time as a TowBoatUS Captain they purchased at auction a USCG Safeboat. One of the best riding vessels I have ever used. Built like a tank. IMG_1226.JPG
 
During my time as a TowBoatUS Captain they purchased at auction a USCG Safeboat. One of the best riding vessels I have ever used.
They were very underappreciated until the Metal Sharts came out. Then everyone missed a well built, sturdy boat that wasn’t designed by a drunk toddler that definitely started hurting small pets as they got older.

The 27’ SAFE Boat was incredible. Unfortunately, the dimensions or something didn’t work out for the Coast Guard to buy them en masse (wouldn’t fit in a C-130 or something, IIRC). A lot of the great things about that boat had to be sacrificed to make the 25. Super stable, cuddy cabin, pump compartment, you could get in and out without your gear getting caught on everything. Had some pretty epic adventures with that boat.
 
During my time as a TowBoatUS Captain they purchased at auction a USCG Safeboat. One of the best riding vessels I have ever used. Built like a tank. View attachment 3635
When I took over EPO of a station back in 2008 was the first time I ever got to ride in a 25. The BM1 decided to show off and was doing full throttle, hard over donuts. Sumbitch was sideways with water pushing against the edge of the windshield. Never cavitated, never slipped. The hull design with those performance fins was amazing.

DSC_0271.jpg
 
Edit: I hope whoever designed that 29’ Metal Shart got the help he needed. I’m assuming extensive inpatient treatment.
Few years back metal shart posted some big thing on facebook about their build quality and how they built this great platform for the USCG. A literal army of USCG members past & present showed up and sh!t all over that post to the point that MS started deleting comments lol.
 
I remain disappointed that my grandson was talked out of joining the CG after high school. That is all he dreamed of throughout high school but people other than his mom, grandma and grandpa had more influence over him when he graduated.
 
Okay, I'm lost...what is Metal Shart?
Glad someone asked. I was afraid to ask. Sounds painful. All I know is that I am never getting the new Taco Bell "Iron infused Chalupas" !
Metal Shart is the colloquial name bestowed to Metal Shark Boats by most Coasties who have ever had the misfortune to be stuck using them, which is just about everyone at a typical SAR station.
 
So the 25’ SAFE Boats were so successful, that when it came time to start replacing them they followed the typical government acquisitions process. Politicians bragging about forcing the deal, all that typical BS. The result of this was the Coast Guard awarding the contract to a company called Metal Shark. Now, what Metal Shark did to fulfill this contract was set up some toddlers in a room with drafting paper and broken crayons, and fed them nothing but rotgut whiskey and low quality cocaine for a week. Then they took the resultant design, removed any accidental good ideas, moved those toddlers into their quality control department (supervisory AND line roles, of course.

Now, with a design in mind, someone that absolutely hated Coast Guard boat crews and wanted to see harm come to them (there was more than one ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or beloved sister story involved in this phase, I’m sure), decided to make the windshield a large flat panel with very little rake. Think an old Ford Aerostar minivan rendered in Minecraft. But just to be absolutely sure it would definitely, 1,000% shatter and cut people’s faces up, they built it out of a type of glass that would (and did, in fact) 1,000% shatter and cut people’s faces up. The quality control was so nonexistent that when it rained, the laz had to be bailed out. Not by pumps, of course, that would be a silly thing to equip in a space that should have been watertight, but by bucket and sponge and people that were lucky to have 3 minutes to eat a now-cold breakfast by the time they were done doing that every morning. And when windshields blew out (or in, rather), they’d take on enough water to flood the bilge. Because if you’re going to design the windshield to implode, you want to make sure the boat floods, too.

It was the most inexplicably stupid acquisition in all of history. You will not convince me that whoever made the ultimate decision to field them would know saltwater from dog piss. Everyone that supported it should have been permanently banned from even buying gas for government motor vehicles, and the company should never have been considered to even sell pencils to a local school ever again.
 
Yup, Bob, your son missed a great opportunity. When mine was 19, they put him on a 25' boat with a .50 cal up front and a .30 cal on a slide, aft. What more would a teenager want! After shooting up Mayport, they send him, his buddies and the boats to the Middle East. Thirty-eight years later, he is waiting to collect his retired pay.
 
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