A (true) funny for you LIers (long)

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lil red truck

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This was sent to me by my cousin Evelyn on the South Shore. (I was raised in Lake Ronkonkoma).

LONG ISLAND

You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.

When you're away from Long Island , you love it
and when you're there, you don't.

You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York

You know the exact point at which Queens
turns into Nassau simply on intuition.

You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".

You never realize you have an accent till you leave.

Everything north of the Bronx is "upstate." New Jersey sucks.

At some point in your life you've gone clamming.

Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.

You'd pay $11.50 for a movie.

You don't live in Long Island, You live ON Long Island

Your distant future might involve the state of Florida

You can correctly pronounce places like
Ronkonkoma, Hauppauge, Wantagh, Mineola, Islandia, and Massapequa

You know the location of 6 malls, a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.

You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica ..."

You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.

No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!

You can't understand why a diner would ever close.

You've had a seagull crap on your car.
(Why, just this morning)

You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.

You know White Castle is terrible for you
and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".

You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx ,
but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan

You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York

You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.

You or someone you know has owned an animal
that came from North Shore Animal League.

Quick! Who's your county Executive ? Don't know do you?!

You've never taken an MTA bus.

The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.

You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.

You know which parts of the godfather were filmed on Long Island

You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute
and you enjoy watching it grow up.

Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from The North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore ".

You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons , unless you got smashed at the Boardy Barn.

When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York .

You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his "records."

The Belt Parkway sucks! You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than 2 hours (without moving).

Your parents took you to All American, Nathan's or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).

Regular gas - $3.29 and you still pay it!!!

You hate paying tolls.

You don't have to go far to see your family.

You remember Grumman.

You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE!

You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's and Arby's closed for good.

You can spout off all the LIRR stops between
Penn Station and Huntington ..

Paying $35 for a haircut doesn't sound so crazy.

You think the people from Brooklyn are
"da wunz dat tawk wit a accent."

You went sledding in the sumps.

You knew of Massapequa before
the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare.

You think going to Queens is a hike.

The first time you heard the term " Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.

When you live somewhere else you are astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.

You just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.

You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island

When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands... it becomes normal to you.

No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
 
and

You dont see anything strange about a road called Utopia Parkway in the middle of an area called Flushing.
 
pdecat..........its no longer called Flushing.......the Orientials re-named it ... FLU--SHING.

I think I was the last American to get out.......and I took the flag too !!
 
Don,

Time to be PC Orientals are rugs…….

You must be referring to Asian Americans.

And don’t you dare call the old Chinese laundry the you know what… remember those days, the brown wrapping paper… I can still smell the starch. Or was that just a Brooklyn thing.
 
Brad........its all a melting pot..........Chinese....Japanese....Korean.....WHATEVER !!!!

They bought me out........sent me packin.
 
So True… A Very Big melting pot and steamer. But you seem like you did not want to leave... Where would you have kept your boat...

When I lived in Bayside from 90-95, I often went into flushing to the seafood markets. I have to say I never have seen so many strange things, and I do mean things in tanks, baskets or on ice. There were slimy critters clinging to the sides of tanks that looked like from another planet…. I loved the baskets of gigantic frogs… and they were not for show and tell….
 
Brad.....We wanted to leave badly.... our boat at that time was on a trailer.

They were taking over and buying up everthing.....they came to our closing with an attache case with all cash in it....... my attorney stopped the closing for 1/2 hour...told them to go across to the bank and get us a bank check. He told them " we are not leaving this office with all that cash in a bag "

Did you go to the " sefood markets ".....or the " meat " markets ??
 
LIL RED TRUCK,

That was great and so true, I bitch about this place more than anyone, mostly the cost, but when the day is done, we have it all. Now if we could get a grip on the cost, and global warming would work a little quicker, this could be paradise.

Walter
 
funny stuff. i never went clamming, but everything else on the list is true. LOL.
 
Well guys this is really educational since I'm from "up north"---North Georgia. But my Admiral is from down South. She grew up in Patch a Gooey (Patchogue) on the South Shore of Lawn Guy Land. Her father was a conductor on the LIRR so she can still probably name them all. Occasionally she says she wants to "go home". I tell her I'll miss her.
 
dancercap,
Funny thing about Long Island, we have teeth :) I see you are not the typical Georgia boy, you actually married someone outside your family. :) Sweet

Walter
 
dancercap said:
Her father was a conductor on the LIRR so she can still probably name them all.

WOW...........Thats alot of conductors......
 
The Admiral thought that was funny, especially walterv and Double D. This reply is from her.

Spaggine, from "Lawn Guy Land" says "D*** the truth hurts, yeah I made the move fr0om PI to Fla, where there's no bread, cheese or pizza." "Is the Bronx still in New York?"

I gave Spaggine that screen name, and she spelled it wrong, She's Italian and Puerto Rican, so you can probably figure how it was supposed to be spelled.
 
quote:
And don’t you dare call the old Chinese laundry the you know what… remember those days, the brown wrapping paper… I can still smell the starch. Or was that just a Brooklyn thing.

Click to expand...


Nope it was in Queens also. 69th street between Maurice and Garfield Avenues. I can still smell the place.

I did my duty getting Dad's shirts also. I used to say no starch and the SOB would always starch 'em. Got me yelled at so much I'd love to go back and kick the SOB now but the Koreans and Mexicans have taken over Woodside.
Maybe there's money in a lawsuit. I mean some AH Judge tried to sue over lost pants for millions right? I wonder where he lost them that made them so valuable. Priceless?
 
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