burial at sea revisited

D

deltabighat

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exMember
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Aug 17, 2004
RO Number
14904
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493
You guys were so helpful before, I thought I would take this one step further. Is there techniques involved other that heading the boat into the prevailing wind and pitching the ashes overboard. Other than some religious proceedings, how have some of you managed this thing with dignity and or humor, where everyone felt good about it. Maybe there is no preferred method but I would like to hear from some of you about how you went about it.

DBH
 
I was once asked to captain a friends boat for him. He and a small party of friends were scattering the ashes of a mutual pal and all intended to drink -- so they needed a designated captain. I was glad to do it. At the appropriate time, two of the women carried the ashes to the foredeck and slowly scattered over Bay waters. One of the women tearfully turned to her husband and said: "This is such a beautiful thing to do, I want you to do the same for me should I go first". He (the husband) raised his glass to her and said; "Of course, my dear, how's next week for you?" True story.
 
While in the Coast Guard Auxiliary I was asked to perform several from my 36' Carver Mariner as I could carry more family members aboard than USCG vessels could. Most of the time the deceased was a Navy veteran. I would verify by radar that we were at least three miles offshore, drop to idle speed, and head into the wind. My crew would offer to do the scattering for the widow and most would accept. Making sure to hold the urn or container over the side of the cockpit they would slowly pour the contents into the water while the family usually scattered rose petals on the site. If the family wanted to do it themselves we would advise the on technique. We never had a "blowback" incident. I always had another crew member on the edge of the bridge keeping me aware of what was happening as I could not see my cockpit from the helm. When they were finished I would slowly circle back past the site and then return to the dock at hull speed. I would copy the GPS coordinates of the site on a Flotilla business card and give it to the family so they knew the location of the final resting site of their loved one.

Usually the family members visiting from out of state were in good spirits on the ride out and enjoyed the Florida sunshine on the bridge. After the scattering most family members stayed in the cockpit and cabin for the somber ride back. I always kept plenty of tissues aboard. Although the USCG reimbursed me for the fuel on these missions our Flotilla always received donations from the family after the service.
 
I can attest that the "blowback" factor can be a problem, especially when scattering over the transom when the bow is into the wind. A significant eddy in the wind can arise unexpectedly. Scattering over the side may well be preferable. Finishing the process with a broom sweeping off the swim platform is not an optimal result.

BTG
 
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